Vulnerable
At my most vulnerable, the wind from your side comes rushing in,
I cover up with a comforter but I still feel cold.
Yet you don’t seem to turn off the fan,
It is like you want me to feel cold.
I freeze to my core in tears, because I am at my most vulnerable,
And you have found your advantage
In my lowest and in my catastrophe,
you always take my shelter away,
Put me in the heavy storm and make me endure it,
since it didn’t equal yours.
Crazy as it sounds, I still have a useless comforter I always go back to
At my most vulnerable,
You keep me in a cage when I am surrounded with discomfort
Because at my most vulnerable,you throw me mercilessly
Into the ice cold water, just to keep me awake and lock me
Back in the same cage,
Yet you don’t seem to notice my damn comforter
The one that I hide behind, at my most vulnerable.
My choices, my autonomy is something you crave to control
When I am falling down every time for my soul has worn out
The laugh you let out when I am trying to get back up
Also as I hide
My embarrassment of not being strong
As I am at my most vulnerable
I wonder how time works right for you, you find me and torture me
Right at my most vulnerable.
I sometimes feel sad and commit the mistake to reach out to you
Your shallow self forces me to let it out,”What’s wrong? You know I am here”
And I end up falling into the trap and
I give up on details I shouldn’t have
Because you always know the pattern of digging it out and filling it up
You always find your way through me
Holding on to me with chains
But why do you not take my comforter away,
When it serves no purpose
Maybe that is what gave you the advantage then, to find me,
At my most vulnerable.
